Every time I throw on the mix CD I made for my best friend before she left to Europe I almost immediately regret it. Memories flood my brain and I’m reminded that she’s half way across the world.
Today I decided I needed a break from catching up with Above and Beyond’s Trance Around the World and trade the trio’s composition of flowing trance for something more indie.
I turned my iPod to the Hush Sound. Gravitating to one of my favorite songs off the album, The Artist. It was like an instant light bulb went off in my head and I thought, “of course, turn on the ‘Goodbye Mix’ you made Alicia”
Bad idea.
Explanation: The reason for the instant regret isn’t so much a heart-wrenching, sadness-filled type of regret but rather the type of regret that reminds you of where you are currently and where you’d rather be.
So instead of playing the mix in the order I made it, I decided to throw on ‘The Artist’ and put the mix on shuffle. The next song came on, ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, and I lost it.
My thoughts were racing and all I could think about was my friendship with Alicia.
I can without a doubt say that she is my best friend. And I can also say that our friendship is the ONLY friendship I have ever had zero doubts about.
Never once have I thought our friendship wouldn’t last. Never once have I thought she would leave me and never once have I thought about leaving her. Never. Once.
Our friendship has more pages than I even know how to write. We’ve been through it all together. We’ve both made mistakes, mistakes that would completely rip other friendships apart. We’ve been there for each other, even when we didn’t ask for it.
With her being in Europe, the biggest pain for me has been that I haven’t been able to get out there to see her. And it’s all been about timing and I love her because she understands.
Ever since she left we’ve been planning our trip and each time something in my life got in the way.
First it was my car payment and finances. They were no were near in check to get out to Europe. Sure, I had saved the money to get out to see her but I completely forgot about saving extra for my car. At the time, my vacation out to see her was supposed to be a fairly long one. Then it was my internship. And finally, it was my decision to move to Vegas in June.
When she decided to leave to go on her adventure almost two years ago, my heart broke. I knew it was going to be a different life without her being say 5 minutes away. But I knew I couldn’t tell her not to go. even though I’m sure she wouldn’t have listened to me. I don’t think I ever even tried to talk her out of it because I knew that her dream was to travel the world.
Moral of the story: We support each others dreams.
So, this mix, this almost perfect mix, is such a definition of our friendship and each time I turn it on, I hear something different.
Today I was reminded that if there’s one area of my life I’ll never have to second guess, it’s Alicia. She really is my other half. The things that girl knows about me and my life, sometimes I wonder if she doesn’t know me better than I know myself, as cliche as that sounds. Even when we’re half a world apart she still knows exactly when to call and exactly what to say. It’s creepy really, but a good creepy… If there is such thing.
I miss her more than life and I can’t wait til she’s back in the states. We’ve managed to figure out a way to live separate lives, pursue separate dreams and somehow, we’ve found a way to make it all work. Even though circumstances and people in our life change, we’ve kept things like they’ve been since day one.
Strong, unbreakable, comfortable and honest.
